Comments on: Finding Beauty in the Unexpected

By: Katie T. Christiansen

Katie T. Christiansen — Mon, 09 Nov 2020 05:13:39 +0000

In reply to Laura. You have just encouraged my heart, Laura! I can remember the process of my daughter starting to see her differences around that age too. She's almost 12 now, and it's been quite a journey. Both of strength and trials. God's imprint is over them both, and He absolutely has amazing plans for them. I so appreciate you taking the time to write. Warmly, Katie

By: Laura

Laura — Sat, 07 Nov 2020 13:41:18 +0000

I just came across this blog entry from the link through Lucky Fin project. As I was reading, I felt like I was reading my own story with my first born! She was born with two identical hands that have three fingers (one thumb and two fingers) each. My husband was the first to discover this, as she was laying on my chest after birth. I wish I could go back and tell myself that the first year of medical appointments, with all of the organ scans, x-rays, geneticist tests, and occupational therapy evaluations were nothing to get worked up over. It turns out that they told us they have no explanation as she’s fully functioning and there’s no genetic reason for it. I told them that she is just the way God made her, and she will glorify Him!! She just turned five and within the last year or so she’s really started to notice that her hands are different. Since they’re identical, many people don’t notice anything at first, but she sometimes points it out. I feel such a connection to you and your little girl, I wish I had found your blog 5 years ago!

By: Katie T. Christiansen

Katie T. Christiansen — Sun, 28 Jul 2019 23:54:31 +0000

In reply to Carol Chamoff. Your grandson sounds incredible, Carol!! You must be so proud. I think you're right. They have an extra dose of empathy and are just extra caring. My daughter is 10 now. Where does the time go???

By: Carol Chamoff

Carol Chamoff — Fri, 26 Jul 2019 22:21:18 +0000

Just happened to come across your article and so I guess your little girl is quite a bit older now! My grandson who lives in Melbourne Australia has a left hand that looks identical to your daughter’s right hand. Including the surgery to separate his 2 fingers. Liam is now 7 and was just given an award by his school that is given to one child in the 400 child school that exhibits the traits of kindness, respect and compassion. What a wonderful award and one that I am sure his particular challenge helped him to win. His compassion and kindness come in part from great parenting but also I think from being different. He may lack some fingers but he has been given a big and caring heart.

By: Katie

Katie — Sun, 14 Aug 2016 03:56:56 +0000

In reply to ivy.

Awww, thanks for sharing about yourself, Ivy! I loved reading this and hearing your wonderful perspective. It’s nice as a mom to hear your own experiences and how it’s just no big deal. That’s how we are with my daughter in everyday life. We often forget that she is different…unless someone else points it out. It’s funny and wonderful how it becomes the norm. I can’t wait to show this to my daughter…and she’s totally gonna want to do her nails like yours! I appreciate you taking the time to comment!

By: ivy

ivy — Fri, 29 Jul 2016 07:07:58 +0000

I was born with symbrachydactyly. I have three fingers on my left hand. I have 1 thumb and 2 fingers, and a normal length arm. The thumb is normal though angled a bit odd, the middle finger only has 2 working joints instead of 3, and the “pinky” has 2.5 working joints and is fully functional though it’s twisted inwards. (picture of hand http://yardsards.tumblr.com/post/114887230551 ). I’m in high school now.
I don’t have any troubles with it now. I have no trouble with functionality and almost none with people. The most I get is the occasional “woah 3 fingers? how did that happen?” when meeting new people (or sometimes months later, it’s surprisingly not noticable); and one from someone who is now a close friend and didn’t notice until a while after knowing me “wow that looks like a velociraptor hand! that’s so cool! I wish I had a cool hand like that! …wait was that rude? I just think it’s cool”. I make jokes about it and allow others to do so too (they always ask permission first and make sure I won’t be offended). While I like jokes, I do NOT like to be overly pitied by well-meaning adults or classmates. “Oh no can you carry that? Can you write? Do you need help? Here let me do that for you,” and such comments when I’m ALREADY having NO difficulty with any of those tasks is just condescending and obnoxious. Of course, your child’s reactions to attention and jokes and pity might be different from mine.
As a child I didn’t have too much trouble. When I was a baby, much like your child, I needed surgery to separate my 2 fingers. When the teacher made us count fingers I taught myself 8 fingers plus 2 whole feet is 10. My winter gloves had 2 extra fingers flopping around but that never got in the way of a good snowball fight. In early elementary school, I had to go to special classes to learn how to use my right hand; I had poor motor functioning in it and tended to try to use my left hand to write. The special teacher said she believed I was probably meant to be a lefty, so I had to learn to be a righty or find a better way to use my left (I chose to become right handed). Now I’m like most people: can write with my right hand just fine, can’t write well with my left but can carry things with it with no problem. The confused/shocked comments from classmates were more common when I was younger (though that might just be because I was eager to show it to people, and now it’s just a basic fact about myself that I neither show off or hide, just a hand). I made jokes about it myself, but other kids tended not to. I got more of that pity, which at least bothered me slightly less back then. Going into middle school, my school offered kids instrument lessons. I knew I couldn’t learn woodwinds, so I looked at brass and percussion. I had difficulty holding the drum stick and the tuba was too heavy, so I went with trumpet. The trumpet is such a good instrument (especially for people like me as it only requires 3 fingers -and probably a thumb- on the right hand, and maybe a left arm to help hold the instrument up). Even if I did have full hands, I think it would be a good instrument. Seriously, it’s great. Maybe your daughter won’t take to it like I did, but if she shows interest in learning an instrument, bring up the idea and maybe let her try it out at a music store to see if she likes it.
Anyways what I’m trying to say is you kid’s gonna be okay. You probably don’t have to worry as much as you seem to be. It’s just a hand and arm.

By: ivy

ivy — Fri, 29 Jul 2016 06:58:15 +0000

In reply to Corinne. As a high schooler with a symbrachydactyl hand that looks a lot like hers, I've gotten both of those comments (along with velociraptor, alien, and west side symbol). It's probably different between people but I'm not offended by these comments and often find them fun.

By: Katie

Katie — Thu, 30 Jul 2015 18:49:05 +0000

In reply to Polly Zeeb. That's a beautiful song, Polly! We have it and love it. Thank you for the sweet words, and I hope she does too :).

By: Polly Zeeb

Polly Zeeb — Thu, 30 Jul 2015 15:46:02 +0000

We all have our challenges on this earth. “Perfect” is impossible to achieve. There is an amazing song to empower kids and help raise their self-confidence. It is called “Wonderful You” and is available on iTunes. The lyrics will bring tears to moms, who already know how special their children are: Here is a link…..the song is #15 on the album of the same name: https://itunes.apple.com/ca/album/wonderful-you/id927564656
Your daughter is a beautiful person. Hope she grows to love herself as much as you love her!

By: Katie

Katie — Thu, 07 Aug 2014 16:54:36 +0000

In reply to Corinne. I love that, Corinne! Thank you for sharing your awesome perspective. You just made me smile :).